Broken Bikes & Sleepless Nights

December 17, 2018

Broken Bikes & Sleepless Nights

August 2018:

Last night I slept for 3 hours. The dogs outside of my window were barking until 4am. On my way to school, my bike broke for the third time this week. I had to hop off and walk it about a half-mile. I was late for my 8am class. The first thing I heard when I walked into class was “watch movie!!! ‘Cha can we watch a movie?!!!” Five more voices joined in on the watch movie chant. I’d like to think that I put up a good fight. The sleep deprivation was setting in and before I knew it, I was abandoning my carefully designed lesson plan. Defeated and upset, I sat in the back of the class as the kids watched “Percy Jackson”. One of the girls sitting next to me grabbed my hand and said “you look sad ‘cha.” She held my hand for the entire hour of class.

Talk to any Minerva Fellow from the past 11 years and each one will surely tell you that upon arriving at their location they had a moment in which they asked themselves, “What have I done?” This was my what have I done? moment.

There is a misconception, however, that this moment is singular; you get over it and then you keep moving forward. In my experience, living abroad and working at a non-profit offers numerous challenges and setbacks. Every time I come across a what have I done? moment I try to ground myself. I try to answer that question with a different one: Why am I here? This is my thought process:

At the beginning of September. Isabelle and I started a pen pal program between our older students at TGC and Union College students. We thought it would be cool to establish a connection between TGC students and some of our friends from back home. We had a really fun time matching everyone up based on their personalities and interests and the kids wrote some really hilarious stuff. Sreyneang wanted her Union pen pal to know that she’s “just a simple girl that loves to sing,” Pengkong and his pen pal talk about cute girls and Rithy solely refers to his pen pal as “sir” in his letters. At one point, Narun’s pen pal, DT, shared with him that he is the president of the club hockey team at Union. Narun took the word “president” to heart and is convinced that DT is famous in America.

While some kids are lighthearted and humorous in their letters, others are much more reflective. In their second letters, we asked the students to describe TGC to their Union pen pals. One of my students, Leanghour, wrote this:

“There are 32 students here at school and 16 teachers. I have 50 best friends.”

At TGC, we take 32 kids from impoverished families and give them a high quality education. They go to school for twice the amount of time as public school students! They receive a $1 subsidy for each day of school. They partake in extracurricular activities and play sports. They are given books, school supplies, uniforms and two meals a day. They even get housing at school if they live too far away or if their families can’t support them.

So yeah, maybe my friend Leanghour’s math was a little off but he was right about something… In addition to all of these resources, our kids get to spend their days with 50(ish) people who believe in them and want them to succeed. They have a support system at TGC that they maybe otherwise wouldn’t have. It’s a support system that they are aware of and they can feel.

As cheesy as it sounds, I am here because I want to be apart of that support system. TGC is primarily a school and my main job is to teach. However, I’ve found that in order to be a good teacher you have to be able to encourage and to motivate. I can give my students the tools to learn but I can’t do the work for them. More often than not, all they need is a little confidence and an environment where they feel comfortable enough to try.

So I came to Cambodia because I want to be able to support people that I believe in. But I’m able to do this because these people offer the same support for me.

“Connection doesn’t exist without giving and receiving. We need to give and we need to need.” –Brene Brown

Here are some of my 50 best friends: